This could be a 2007 model, judging by the rustless finish and gougeless facade. (It's "whizzing" past three levels of housing -- the slums, which spring up literally in the middle of sidewalks at times, often have two floors and have corrugated tin roofs, the small apartment buildings, and the larger, unpainted buildings, which tend to be more modern).
This, to the right, is a Goods Carrier truck, the kind I took on my trip to Thane to watch the Gokulashtami festival. Most have English signage, but almost all are reddish-orange and have beautifully painted cabs and bumpers. You can barely make out the medallion at the top with a guiding god or goddess here. They also get dressed up for the holidays. Most cars were wearing orange flower garlands for Dussera, the final day of Navratna, which just ended this week. Although it's a Gujurati holiday, Navratna is very festive in Mumbai, because it celebrates Mahalaxmi, the goddess of wealth, near and dear to Mumbaikars' hearts. Kids play with three sticks, holding two and manipulating the third in between. We were just grateful that it wasn't another drumming holiday--not so good for studying!
Ganesh: First in Space. This is a particularly modern example of the innards of tents that sprung up around the city for Ganesh Chaturthi, a festival honoring the god with a lucky aura and an impish flair. Ganesh may have an elephant's head, but he travels around on a mouse, because a mouse can fit anywhere. I like that.
Every traveller to Mumbai may have a picture of the sign below (it's posted in a touristy area), but I'm happy to be no exception. The most questionable part of the claim to me isn't really about magic--what do I know about magic?--but that you could actually carry out any kind of transaction in Mumbai in "Two Minutes Only." I should have taken this guy up on the offer just for the nostalgia I have for efficiency in general.
My local train station, Matunga Central, features the below offer. This is a famously sexually conservative culture. I recently read an Times of India op-ed article by an indignant resident, railing against the flagrant kissing in Shivaji Park. However, due to governmental family planning messages, the country's a lot more open about the consequences of sex than the US is. But I'm still unclear as to how computarized an abortion can be, and would like to remain ignorant.
The buzzwords for intra-India discrimination are "caste system" but, unfortunately, the practice extends to religious strife and racial inequalities. We actually saw the regulated swimming times enforced in our hotel in Pushkar, which is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of tourist envy. 
The love-hate relationship with the British occupiers has translated into a worshipful attitude toward white people, and a general acceptance of ripping us off at every turn. Although there's less overt worship of the US than I've found in some other countries, possibly due to the fact that the Bollywood pantheon shines stronger than American stars do as a collective, there is an attitude of deference to individual foreigners that can be harmful at times. The Indian girls in our hostel say that only when we speak up are issues remedied, and we've all caught men taking cell-phone pictures of us on the sly. Skin-lightening is a national craze, so much so that when an African-American friend in the Temple group went to the store to buy Clorox, she was given skin bleach.In terms of religious conflict, Mumbai erupted in Hindu/Muslim riots in the mid 90s, but things have calmed down considerably since. However, the "Hindustan" nationalist party, the BJP, which has strong ties to the Shiv Sena terrorists, remains a strong presence in Maharashtra, Mumbai's state. The BJP's orange is meant to symbolize Hinduism, whereas Islam is generally represented by green, with mosques are painted that color as well. My neighborhood is next to Dadar, where the BJP is headquartered, and walking down the street, I found this scrawl:
Although I can't be certain what the writer was invoking, I doubt that he or she was declaiming against environmentalism or Kermit.
Signage in general is a big deal in a country where combatting illiteracy is a governmental priority. We're all tempted to steal this sign, but then we'd run the risk of leaving crying toilets and poop-strewn tiles!We've also observed that there's an unfulfilled niche in India: the western-style tourism consultancy firm. India loses buckets of money on awkward inefficiencies in museums, forts, and palaces, not to mention misunderstandings at hotels and restaurants. I'm not advocating a major change in cultural scope in general, just a basic reorientation in places specifically serving outsiders. There are also efforts undertaken which represent misplaced effort, or are generally mystifying. Read bench:
We came across the bench in Goa, which does cater to mostly European tourists. Some other signs found there included this dubious claim:
Daniella's remained closed during our stay in Goa, possibly serving as another example of Man misunderstanding God's best efforts to enliven small parties.
For those "no fear" types who can't get close enough to tobacco, we found the following offer:Returning to Mumbai, there's a self-proclaimed hospital which stands across the street from our hostel. As tribute to the long tradition of Huntingtons finding non-sequitur signage while traveling, such as the beauty parlor/township museum, I present the following:
You might think it's a little odd, but I have yet to see a monobrow or mole among the mostly over-80 population. Which really says something.
These "pure for sure" signs turn up at almost every gas station, illustrating differentiation strategies for commodity retailers, and making a base-level handy joke for the rest of us. But there's more. Rachel, in blue, has lived in Brazil, where the "OK" sign is a very foul gesture, regarding the condition of purity of one's antagonist's mother.
There are all sorts of directives in India, but not a ton of respect for the law. If flattery will get you anywhere in the US, here, it's money. They pay police so little that many are reduced to taking bribes to feed their families, which is reinforced by few repurcussions. But people here love laying down the law, even if follow-through is minimal. The sign below becomes a plaintive request in a city where trashcans are tiny and infrequent (and indoors, the size of toilet-bowl cleaner stands--what am I supposed to put in that, a gum wrapper?!).
One of my favorites is "Do Not Spit". People need to be constantly reminded of this one. I have come across these signs behind the counter of the tourist assistance window in the main train station as well as inside of a church.
We can conclude the tour with the most common sign in Mumbai. My classmates and I couldn't wait to figure out what "bean bags" were. We were sure they was illegal, or at least entertainment-related. The guerilla marketing covers the city's cement scape, with fairly little competition. Well, it turns out that bean bags are just that. Cheap seating destined to bust and create an ocean of foam balls in several months. Like Mumbai--a quick fix on the fly, straining under humans' weight, and not built to last. . .
